Another thought

As most of you know, homeschooling is very important to me. I feel that no one has their children's best interest in mind than the parents. In saying that, I have come to the conclusion that I may not be able to continue homeschooling--Allen, at least.

I often heard my mother say growing up that she was not a good mother staying at home all day. I never understood this, in fact I went completely the opposite direction in my motherhood. Now, two years into schooling Allen I have found that I may be beginning to understand what mom was talking about. I do feel that I can stay home all day and handle that part all right. It is just the constant fight of school. Those of you that know Allen well, know that he is difficult at best to steer and guide. I have come to the conclusion that when most of my day is filled with yelling back and forth with him that day is wasted. It is not the way I want Allen (or the other children) to remember their mommy.

In saying that, I feel extremely guilty. I feel like a failure, but also relieved at making this decision. Larry and I are discussing continuing with homeschooling Charlie and sending Allen to Harlan Christian. The public school is our absolute last choice and we will probably do everything to keep him out of there. That's another story...

I never knew parenting could be so heart-breaking. This is only the beginning! When you factor in their physical health and spiritual health, I know no bigger or harder job in the world!